Shock of My Life!

One of my friends called me the day after Mother's Day to tell me she was pregnant. She has been dealing with infertility for 10 years! They have a sweet boy they adopted from India. A pregnancy wasn't even on their radar since they had been trying so long. They had even started looking into the adoption process again for a siblng for him. Talk about a shock. She got her positive test on Mother's Day. What a perfect gift.

I started joking with her that maybe we could be pregnant together. I was late starting my next cycle but I didn't think much of it until she called. We wanted another child but not for at least a couple more years. But something in the back of my mind told me to pick up a pregnancy test. I kept thinking I was being silly the whole drive to the store and back and that it couldn't possibly be positive. Micah was already asleep when I got back. It is better if you take the tests in the morning but I couldn't wait till then. The first line showed up but then nothing. Just when I was beginning to feel silly for wasting money on the test a second line showed up! I couldn't believe my eyes.

I am ashamed to say I cried and not tears of joy. It has been very stressful around here lately with 3 kids under 3 and Peter's recent diagnosis. We had been planning that I would start doing some therapy with Peter. But with a pregnancy and new baby that is going to be impossible. I feel like I've let Peter down. I am trying to remind myself that this is all part of God's plan and that this whole situation is in his hands.

I am not sad anymore but I can't say I am excited either. I think it will be a while till that comes. But I know that it will.